This year marked a significant change in my life as both of my children left home earlier this year. Emma and Harry have lived away from home before, going to boarding school and then over the following years moving back and forth between home, university residential colleges, a shared house with a mate etc. Their stuff (read mess) was still in their bedrooms and they came back regularly for food, washing and money.
However as they left home this year, both of them for work and most significantly to be with their partners, it dawned on me that this time it was different and they were leaving to make their own homes. It was the end of a part of my life journey. I am no longer required for active parenting or as the go to person for an opinion or problem solve. Their bedrooms have been emptied and the fridge does not have their favourite foods. Only a short time ago I had two busy lovable toddlers, poof, they have gone, welcome to empty nest syndrome. I felt sad, a little unneeded and not sure how to deal with my new situation or what would happen next.
This is what happened. For a while I felt a real sense of grief and found myself stopping by their rooms to just to feel a little bit of their presence. I started having conversations with the dog and asking how her day had been. I realised that there are no dirty dishes left six feet away from the dishwasher, the socks on the floor have gone, (though Harry promises to fix that next time he visits). The power bill has gone down, there is way less washing and ironing, my husband is very happy that his tools stay in the shed and not disappear into our son’s car. I got busy and renovated the kid’s bedrooms into guest rooms. I still refer to them as Emma and Harry’s rooms but this makes me smile because my Nanna when she was ninety, still referred to my Dad and his brother’s bedroom as the “boy’s room”.
I miss my kids to bits, pray that they will make good life choices and really wish they lived closer. However I am very proud that I have raised two capable, hardworking, caring and independent young adults who are busy making their way out in the big wide world. I made mistakes as a mum and sometimes it was tuff, but I feel that I can say I have done OK. Two babies are now two young adults, and I can tick off that box as we all begin the next part of our life journey.
|Contributed by Leanne of Syd and Me
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